Sweaty.

It was hot today. Crazy hot. And humid worst of all. 

Here’s what I texted a friend:

“I just blanched myself in the shower. That run was a biblical sort of pain. With much weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Another text:

“Why do people live here? The humidity is tyrannical. The winters remove all the fun from snow. The views are flat and full of cow exhaust. The people all look like Hodor.”

There was a person sleeping on the floor of the entryway to my apartments this morning as I walked the kids out to the car. I feel like I’ve seen my future.

Today was lonely. Surrounded by people at work, but it all felt muffled. It wasn’t that all consuming, horrible loneliness I’ve felt before. This didn’t have the same volume. But it was there. In the room with me.

I love having my kids with me. We say, “I love you.” to each other a lot. I wish they said it more to each other. The other day Marianne lost her balloon to the wind. Dominic ran after it like a damn hero and finally caught it. It was awesome. I told Marianne to thank him and give him a hug. She did it with the sort of gusto that made it look like it was her idea.

I’m glad to be running again though. I want to get my numbers back up there.

I’m not saying I want to be with anyone. I’m just saying that sometimes I get lonely. And that’s not super awesome.

So. Much. Sweat. Today.