Free Time

I just got done watching an old vlog from Casey Neistat. May 7, 2015.

Watch it here.

In it he delineates out his average day. Explains how "free time" and "fun" have no room, because he's busy doing the things he values more. He looks great in this video. Arms are big, eyes bright. He's energetic and lucid. He talks about this being probably the healthiest time of his life and how he doesn't want to waste any minute.

Today was father's day. It was nice. The kids were good to me. I spent almost the entire day in bed being lazy. Watching the Craft Beer channel on YouTube. Facebook. Instagram. I ate junk food. I did go outside to watch the sunset. Made the kids come with initially, but there was complaining.

I was thinking that today was a success. I was congratulating myself on letting myself be lazy. But the truth is, I feel guilty and dumb. I wish I had used more energy. Gotten up and gotten out with the kids. We talked about a walk, but it never really materialized. I like days when they tell me they are tired at the end.

I've got a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow. The kids did a number on the apartment. Usually I make them pick up their messes, but I thought I should probably just be nice to them today. Plus, I sort of want to pay a penance for fucking off all damn day.

Got accidentally drunk last night, btw. Bells is finally in Omaha. I put away a six of two hearted. It was a quiet inebriation.

Happy F D.