Little to nothing at all.

It's summer hours at work. That means we can leave at 2:00. Ish. I didn't do that today. I hung out. Chatted with Tim. We are hitting a comfortable stride working together. There was butting of heads initially. I was surprised at how volatile our relationship got. But we made it through. I think that guy still struggles with me. There's very much a big brother attitude sometimes. He respects me. There is equanimity. But many times there's unasked for advice and finger-wagging. He's never really wrong. And I'm never radically insulted. But it's a thing. I think time will even everything out.

I self identify as a rule breaker. But not always in the spirit of just plain old anarchy. I like to explore so that I can learn. I mean, breaking the rules is fun, and there's plenty of that going on, but I also think that if your brain is screwed on tight enough, you can learn far more when you shake things up. I think Tim gets uncomfortable when things get, uncomfortable. Which clearly makes sense. But he's also smart enough to be intrigued. He worries about me. This is a symptom of him giving a shit, not judgment. Well no, there's some judgment, but dude, who could blame him?

I need to put more thought into this. Explore examples. I'm explaining my gut feelings. These thoughts are too raw and new to be fully correct. The spirit seems close though.

Breanna brought her little sister Iris to work. She's five. We all went to lunch. A big group of us. I spent the whole time giving Iris all of my attention. She's awesome. Sweet little girl. One of my favorite ages. I remember when Molly and I were building a family I felt very much like a fish out of water. Sometimes I wonder how much I've changed over the years. Being comfortable around kids is a big one. I don't know what that means exactly. But I do know that I'm going to enjoy being a grandparent someday.

I worry about dating. I'm not sure I want to share my kids. And I have many strong, potentially unwaverable ideas about how to parent children. Luckily I don't have to worry too much. Dating is pretty much off the fucking books for me right now.